This last week has been a week in which I have experienced some real highs and unfortunately a few lows too. Last Sunday, I decided to share with you the news that I had been outed back in my home town and that it had spread so that most of the people who knew me growing up now are aware of my Gender Dysphoria issues!! And the frustration I was having in not knowing any of their thoughts about it all …haha x
After “The truth is out there” went live on Sunday I had a couple people from back home get in touch to show me there support and let me know that generally the reception to my news was positive in the community!! Which was great and such a weight off my mind after all these years, as most of the community haven’t heard or seen me in 15 years.
So the next day I decided to take the extremely scary, yet momentous decisions to come out to everyone through the very modern medium of Facebook!! And posted a link to the blog post on my little used masculine (Paul) Facebook page for all to see!!! Meaning that I would be opening up the flood gates to everyone from back home, so they could finally get in touch. And to all the other people that I have met in my life and love enough that I want them to be one of my very select friends on Facebook. It was a very scary moment pressing that “post it” button, and equally terrifying few minutes (felt more like hours) until I started to get responses!! But I’m so, so glad that I managed to do it this time and not chicken out as usual!!
The response that I have gotten from friends and family since has been overwhelming and quite frankly awesome! I don’t know how else to put it, in fact I’m finding it hard to put a lot of my feelings from this week down in writing, as some people have touched me so much xx It was also very nice to see a few of my friends who already knew, hanging around ready to pounce to my aid if anyone had dared to come forward to say anything even remotely negative!!…..heehee xx
But I feel it is important to get the message out there that there is still hope for humanity after the love and respect that I have been shown by certain individuals recently xx In the transgendered community I am constantly hearing about individuals coming out and being abused both mentally and physically for being different and being ostracised by their family and friends for it, it has been in my head that I would have to expect my fair share of it along the way. BUT I HAVEN’T!!!!! Not once, yet!! x
I don’t know why, perhaps the majority of them suspected all along and now it just makes more sense to them all?? Or if it is that I have naturally gravitated to those that are genuinely lovely in their hearts?? Or if it is that I’m actually much nicer than ever given myself credit for and have affected people enough that they still care for me even if I haven’t been in their lives for many years??? Or for entirely different reasons!! Or a possibly even a combination of all of them???!!! What ever the reasons, the fact that anyone would take time out of their busy lives to reach out a hand of support to little old me has been such a blessing!! And that quite a lot want to have a more active role in my future, whether it be in an advisory role (makeup, hair,clothes and nails) or to meet up for blethers , that could possibly lead to rekindling friendships and relationships is such a lovely thought for me at the moment as I have really missed them all!!
I have had to endure a few lows this week too, but I’m not going to share them on here today, but rather focus on all the positives that there has been this week which far outweigh the negatives!! x
Life is starting to turn round for me at the moment, with my new place, lots of new friends and a renewed sense of purpose that could hopefully lead to starting work again and working towards the goal of opening my own tearoom later in the year!!
And now with there being no more people that I want to tell, I think I can definitely say I am no longer in the closet…………Halle…..****ing ……lujah!!!!!!
And Relax x